For Time and For All Eternity

Every other year we go to Utah for Christmas, because my family is there, and I kind of love them. The weird thing is, when I am with them, I miss them.  I am right there with them, but my heart misses them so much. I guess I just don't realize how much they mean to me, until I am with them.  I do miss them when I am away, but being with them makes me ache to stay forever.  It is always hard to say good bye, because honestly, I don't really know the next time I might see them.  Of course we plan to be there every other Christmas and sometimes during the summer and for weddings.... but circumstances can interrupt plans.  So I always hate to say goodbye, because I long to be with them.  Of course I love my home here and my family here, I just wish I could have them all in one place all the time.  Saying good bye is the hardest.  It reminds me of Pres Uchtdorf's talk, Grateful in Any Circumstance, he said:

"We Are Not Made for Endings

In light of what we know about our eternal destiny, is it any wonder that whenever we face the bitter endings of life, they seem unacceptable to us? There seems to be something inside of us that resists endings.

Why is this? Because we are made of the stuff of eternity. We are eternal beings, children of the Almighty God, whose name is Endless and who promises eternal blessings without number. Endings are not our destiny.

The more we learn about the gospel of Jesus Christ, the more we realize that endings here in mortality are not endings at all. They are merely interruptions—temporary pauses that one day will seem small compared to the eternal joy awaiting the faithful.

How grateful I am to my Heavenly Father that in His plan there are no true endings, only everlasting beginnings."

In light of that, we are made of the stuff of eternity! And I hope that the time away from my family only feels like an interruption.

Whenever I am with my family, and with friends that I don't see often, I am grateful for the love that bounds us together. I am grateful for the Gospel that binds us.

This trip to Utah was more than just a Christmas trip.  14 years ago in May , Thomas and I were married for time and all eternity in the Salt Lake Temple.

     The Salt Lake Temple is probably the most beautiful temple on earth! At least it is to me.  It represents my eternal love for my husband.  It represents that my family can be together forever, not just here on earth, but for in the life to come.  Eternal families is such a beautiful concept, and one that makes me strive to be the best that I can.  For those of you who may not know all the different "Mormon" beliefs, this is one you should! We believe that through the sealing powers of the priesthood, that families can be sealed together forever. And that when we die, that we can live together, forever, as families.  We believe that this can only be done in the Temple, by one who has the sealing power.  Since Thomas and I were married in the temple, both Porter and Addie were born in the covenant, meaning they were automatically sealed to us, because they were born unto us after we were sealed. I love the temple!  Ever since I was little, my favorite primary song was "I love to see the temple". That song has always meant so much to me.  And this particular temple has always meant so much to me.
     Since Ellie was adopted, she wasn't born into the covenant.  So, we needed to have her sealed to us. It only made sense to us to do it in the Temple that we were married in.  So a big part of our reason to visit Utah this year, was to have our sweet little Elles Belles sealed to us forever, in the Temple, where it all began for us. Another "everlasting beginning".
   I scheduled the Salt Lake Temple for the sealing, probably the day after the adoption was finalized.  I wanted to give everyone enough time to plan to be there.  The neatest part to me was that Porter and Addie were going to be able to be in the Celestial room with us during the sealing.  We wanted to make sure that they would be prepared for such a special and sacred experience.  We got it scheduled for December 30, 2016, which also happens to be Porter's half birthday (darn it, I forgot to get him half a cake to celebrate with!)  The Temple was beautiful in May, when we got married, but it is even beautiful in the cold weather, and temple square all decorated in the amazing Christmas lights!

    I wasn't sure exactly what to expect, I have never witnessed a sealing of a baby to a family through adoption.  We invited our family and some of our dearest friends.  We scheduled the temple at 3:00 pm, we had to be there an hour and 45 minutes early.  Of course, me and my incessant need to be on time, we were 15 minutes earlier than they asked.
  Before we went, I knew that at some point we would be separated from the kids for a little while, I wasn't sure how long.  But I wanted to prepare the kids for this, mostly Addie.  I told her, "Addie, some of the nicest people you will ever meet work in the temple" And she responded, "So, some of them are mean?!?!"  I tried the re-explain, " What I mean is, all the people in the temple are so nice, some of the nicest people in the world. There still are plenty of nice people outside of the temple. But, the ones inside are super nice!"  I think she got it! Ha.  Earlier this week she had said to me, "Mommy, I know what I want to do when I grow up.... work in the temple"  Sweet girl!  Of course no one gets paid to work in the temple, but it has to be the most wonderful place to be serving!
  We got all ready at the hotel. Porter had lost his belt, so we had to borrow mine.  Very minor set backs and I expected more. I expected us to have a rough morning, but luckily we didn't.  Before we left, we said a prayer.  Addie offered to say it. We hesitated.  For the most, Addie's prayers are a little rote, and she mostly prays for random things. Today was such a big day, we wanted it to be just right. But she was so earnest, and how can you say no?!  She said the sweetest most heartfelt prayer that she has ever said.  She prayed that we would be prepared for the temple, and that we would feel the Spirit.  It was so tender and special!
   We arrived to the temple early, like I had mentioned, and I instantly felt emotional.  The most wonderful part about the Temple is that you can feel the Spirit so strong, like it almost makes it hard to breathe, but in a good way!  They took us to the youth center for the children.  I never knew such a room existed in the temple!  It was filled with tons of fun toys and activities, and the sweetest sisters.  We gave them the kid's sizes and instructions for Ellie and when she would be hungry.  They would help the kids get dressed and would keep them until it was time for the sealing.  I'm not going to lie, I was worried that Porter and Addie might get into one of their little fights, of teasing and whining.  You hope that your kids will behave, especially in the temple, but all you can do is hope.  We gave them hugs and kisses, and they let us go without any trouble.  I worried Addie wouldn't like to be left there. But the sisters were so sweet and inviting, they had no trouble saying goodbye.
   Thomas and I changed clothes and were taken to the Celestial room to wait for the sealing.  It was nice to spend time in that special room.  We actually saw Alex Boye there, with his wife!  Random Mormon celebrity encounter! Ha! Too bad he didn't sing for us! ha, kidding!  I found the Bible and decided to read again in Ephesians, the same book I read in the Nashville temple, when I was trying to figure out if we should continue trying to get pregnant or if we should pursue adoption.  It all has come full circle.  It seemed right to read the same scripture that lead me towards the path of adoption...
Ephesians 1: 4-6
4 According as he hath chosen us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before him in love:

 5 Having predestinated us unto the adoption of children by Jesus Christ to himself, according to the good pleasure of his will,

 6 To the praise of the glory of his grace, wherein he hath made us accepted in the beloved.

  It seemed like we waited forever.  I was getting anxious that they had forgotten about us and that all our guests were wondering where we were.  That's just me! Neither Thomas nor I had a watch, for it probably felt longer than it was.... plus my need to be early just made us wait longer!

  Finally it was our turn to go to the sealing room.  My Dad served with a Bishop, who's Father is a temple sealer.  So we had requested him, Brother Koelicher, to perform the ordinance.  He is a kind, soft spoken man..... pretty much everyone in the temple is kind and soft spoken.  We gave him the reader's digest version of Ellie and how she came into our family.  We spoke of the long journey in the NICU.  He understood the ups and downs of the NICU, two of his grandchildren were in the NICU, one survived it, one didn't.  You could feel the pain.  The NICU is a rough place.... and though I never allowed myself to accept the reality of that painful outcome, I know it happens, and my heart aches for those families.
We made our way to sealing room number 13.  You might think, 'oh, that's unlucky' But, I was born on January 13th, 13 has never scared me!
What a magical moment to enter that room, and see so many loving faces of family and friends who mean so much to our family.  To me going to the Temple, there is always a feeling of familiarity to it. The veil is thin.  It feels as though we knew each other before, and that we will see each other again. It is what I imagine Heaven will be like.  Doctrine and Covenants 130:2 sums it up:

2 And that same sociality which exists among us here will exist among us there, only it will be coupled with eternal glory, which glory we do not now enjoy.

I think you get a small taste of that eternal glory, they speak of, inside the temple.

We sat down and smiled at all our loved ones. We had so many special people there. Family. Family that traveled from Mississippi just for this moment.  Old friends. Missionaries that have touched our lives. Friends who are new, but who feel like we have always known them, who took time out of their own vacation to join us.  I felt such a great measure of love in that room, it was palpable.

But the crowning event happened when our sweet, beautiful children entered that room.  They walked in slowly, all dressed in white.  Ellie was in a little stroller, her face angelic with curiosity. I don't know if there was a dry eye in the room.  I felt as though my heart would burst with joy.  Thomas couldn't hold it back, it was tender. He is a pretty tough guy, and doesn't show a lot of emotion, I hardly ever see him cry.   It was moving to see him so touched.  The ceremony was performed and it was so wonderful to finally be able to say that Ellie is ours, forever.  Yes, the finalization of the adoption was huge, but this was the most important thing to happen.  This mattered more.

 As a family, we were able to look into the mirrors. There are mirrors on two facing walls, they are called “Mirrors of Eternity”: When you attend a celestial marriage or a family sealing in the temple, you’ll notice mirrors on each side of the sealing room. These mirrors reflect images back and forth that seem to go on forever. This enduring reflection symbolizes our divine nature and destiny, reminding us that temple ordinances and covenants unite us eternally in God’s presence.
It was such a sacred moment, to be in a sealing room in the temple, with ALL my children and looking through the mirrors.  Representing eternity as a family unit.  This is what it is all about. Returning to our Heavenly Father together, forever.  You see no beginning and you see no end. 'Endings are not our destiny.'

We didn't take pictures of us all in white, simply because it was bitter cold outside, and we wanted to get the kids situated and fed.  I kind of wish we had.... but forever I will have the image of us inside the mirrors in my mind and in my heart.  I had my Mom snap a few pictures of us on the Temple grounds. I wish we had got more pictures with the family and friends who came.  I hope they truly know how much it meant to our family for them to be there in such an eternal moment in time for us.  As we walked outside to take pictures, Thomas said, "I hope this doesn't make you mad Sarrah, but this was way better than our wedding day!"  I whole heartedly agreed.  I didn't think something could top our wedding day, or the birth of our children, or the adoption of Ellie, but this did.  This was the moment we had been waiting for.  This was our moment.  This is our fulness of joy.  Life isn't about things and stuff, it isn't about how much you weigh, it isn't about what clothes your wear or how pretty you are. It isn't about how big your house is, or what kind of car you drive. It isn't about how many people 'liked' your picture on facebook or instagram. It isn't about if you are the smartest, or the funniest.  It isn't about what you are going to eat next. It isn't about all the things the world wants you to think it is.  What life is all about and should be all about is simple.... it is about love, it is about family.  It is about the time that you spend loving your family. The memories you make. It is about working through the hard stuff to become better and stronger as a family unit.  It is about teaching your children in light and truth. It's about being the best you can together. Loving others, serving others. Following our Savior and patterning our lives after His. It is about living a Christlike life every day, not just on Sunday or Christmas. Every day. Be Better, Love Better.