Summer time and the living is easy!

Well... it has happened! School is finally out! The last month of school is always a whirlwind, and I am never fully prepared for summer.  Instantly, all 3 kids at home, and no routine! Ahhhh! This first weekend was a little disjointed, but once swim team starts, and we get a few mornings in with full sleep ins, all of us will be much more pleasant humans!

Porter is finished with 6th grade.  Porter is no longer in elementary school, excuse me while I mourn the loss of his childhood!  I can't believe it!

Before school ended, he had three big events:

First, awards ceremony at school! Porter has never received any sort of award at the end of the year at school.  I remember one year, they had sent a note home informing parents of an awards ceremony in the classroom.  It seemed pretty generic, like everyone received it. So me, being a supportive Mom, attended. He didn't receive one award.  It seemed like 3 kids in the class took home all the awards, one was wearing heathered gray sweat pants with a burnt yellow button up blouse, tucked into said sweat pants.  Ha, he certainly didn't get the fashion award, but read like 100 books that year. That day, I checked Porter out early and we had our own award, at Dairy Queen.  So you can imagine this year, when we received a personal letter from the school, saying he would be receiving an award we were extremely excited!  We both kind of figured it was for AR (accelerated reader).  This year, due to the wonderful world of Harry Potter, Porter's desire to read has changed. He read book one, last summer and thus began our magical journey through all 7 books this year.  He also read a few other books, while we were waiting for a book to come in the mail.  Thank you JK Rowling, for helping my son learn the joy in reading!  After each book he read, we would watch the movies together.  And indeed, when we went to the awards ceremony, he was recongnized for getting over 100 AR points, 149 to be exact. He actually would have had more, but he finished a day after the last day to take the test. So I am sure he was at least 170, maybe more!  I was so proud, and you could tell he was too!

Second, following the footsteps of his cousins, quite literally, he tried out for the High School Cross Country team.  Here, you can try out for the team in 7th grade, and begin training early on.  His cousin, Ethan, is currently on the team.  So we thought it would be super awesome for them to run together.  I could tell, when we pulled up, that he was a little nervous.  We had not practiced an actual 2 mile run.  Porter swims 3 times a week with his Makos team, so I know he is in shape. And every chance he gets he is running around outside or riding his bike.  He is an "outdoor dog" as I like to call it. So many kids these days are "indoor dogs" some even "indoor cats", they just don't like to be outside and prefer TV, tablets or video games over outside play.  And to each his own! But Porter, is an outdoor dog!  We arrived and filled out paperwork. The goal was that the boys were supposed to run 2 miles in 18 minutes, a 9 minute mile, which isn't too hard to accomplish, if you are in shape, I would guess.   I gave him a few pointers. Don't waste your energy in the beginning to be in the lead, stay in the middle for a while, and then when the time comes you break away and push it in the end.  They started warm ups and ran a little. It was a strikingly hot day, which worried me a touch. But again, he is outside.... all. the. time.  As they came around in the warm up, Porter wasn't in the front, he wasn't in the middle, but in the back. Uh oh. Maybe we should have prepared more!  And then they began.  It is an outdoor course, and I could only see him when he would make a loop, and he would only make it twice. Several kids came around, and then there he was, in the front-ish, running along side his cousin.  We cheered for him.  He was red and he had taken his shirt off.  I wasn't sure how he was doing until he turned, waved AND smiled!!!?! So I knew he was feeling good.  I felt relieved! It was nice to have his cousin with him cheering along side of him, giving him pointers.  Again, on the last loop, he came around, generally close to the front. And ran up the hill to the finish.  He ran it in 15 minutes, that's pretty darn good! 7 1/2 minute miles, not too shabby!  A lot of the other boys were walking?! And several were struggling.  One got to right where we were, he was trying, bless him, but just kept saying he couldn't go on. His Mom was walking next to him, telling him he could, he was almost done.  "I can't, I can't" And then he vomited. Oh gosh.  And I say Oh gosh, not because I hate vomit ( I do hate it!), but because Addie witnessed it.  She turned to me and said "I will NEVER race! Ever!" Oh gosh, here we go!  Addie has got some serious speed and ability to run, just like Porter. Hopefully she will grow out of this fear of vomit.  But Porter made the High School Cross Country team!  We are super excited and super proud!

This is kind of adorable, same cousins
8 years earlier, running a race together.

Third! Porter tried out for the High School Swim team, the try outs were that same week on a Saturday.  Now here we had a lot more confidence, because Porter has been swimming year round with the Makos team, of which the high school coach runs. So we felt a little more confident here, but I wasn't sure what the try out would entail.  We got to the pool and filled out paperwork, and then got instruction. The boys had to swim a 50 yard free style in a certain amount of time, the coach wouldn't tell them before hand what the time they needed to beat was. Then, if they accomplished that, they would swim an IM (Individual Medley, one lap of each stroke). Then, a 500 yard swim.... which is..... 20 Laps! Yikes!  I think I would drown?!   Porter was one of the first kids to swim the 50.  Now, I drop him off at his swim practices, 3 times a week. I don't stay and watch, because I have a 6 year old I would have to keep out of the pool and a 1 year old. We live close enough too, that my life is happier if we just drop him off!  So, I hadn't actually seen him swim a lap in a while. We hadn't done too many meets during the year, just because life is busy.  But Porter has turned into a wonderful swimmer. He glides on top of the water.  He is so smooth.  There is no choppiness to his stroke.  I was just so impressed on how much he has changed as a swimmer. I believe there were 4 swimmers going, and he was in the lead?!  I know they are all around his age. But he was kinda smoking them?! He hit the wall at 32 seconds.  We waited for all the swimmers to finished to hear what time they had to beat to move on to the next stroke.  The girls had to swim the 50 in 45 seconds. The boys had to swim it in 40 seconds!  He made it! He moved onto the IM.  By far the freestyle is his best stroke, but he is very proficient at the other strokes.  Once he finished the IM, it was onto the 500.  I asked him if he thought he could do it.  He nearly rolled his eyes, "Of course I can, we swim those all the time, sometimes several times in a practice"  And he was right. He was the first one done in his group, sometimes lapping kids a few time?!  I think we have another Michael Phelps in the water! Ha hahah, sorry, I am a touch proud! They do share the same birthdays, coincidence?!?!?!  So, Porter made the High School Swim team!   (I'm a bad Mom, didn't get a picture of this!)

All these awesome confidence boosts in a week!

Look how much he has grown!?!?

Then, one more thing!  For scouts, there was the raingutter regatta. He built his own ship on his own, it didn't win anything, but he did it all himself. But the coolest part was that he lead the scouts in a march as they did cadences!  Thomas took a video, I will try to download it on here.  I watched him, thinking, who is this kid?! Or, who is this young man, rather?! I have been just so impressed by him! But best of all, it has truly built up his confidence in himself, which he has often lacked.  He really needed these big bunch of boosts!  My sweet Porter, turning into a man!

Addie accomplished her goal of not throwing a giant tantrum getting out of the car for school , for several weeks! And so she was able to have "fake nails". They are just the sticky kind from walmart, but she is obsessed with them!  I can't believe she is done with kindergarten, this year has really flown!

Addie and her nails

We found a cool little pattern with the kiddos. Porter was in 6th grade, and Addie was 6, when he goes into 7th Addie will be 7.  Addie is going in to first grade and Ellie is one. When she goes into 2nd, Ellie will be two!  My kids love little patterns like that! It's kind of fun!

Ellie is just growing and a growing.  She is so so so close to crawling!  She gets to her hands and knees and just almost moves forward. The big thing is now she can be on her back, roll over and get up to a sitting position.  The first time she did it, no one saw her do it.  But now, she does it all the time, and looks so proud of herself!  And then another big thing, she keeps trying to pull herself up. But she doesn't always choose the best thing to pull herself up with, normally it is something mobile, so it usually rolls away with her.  But the other day, she grabbed the middle shelf of the changing table, and with much effort, pulled herself up! I tried to get her to do it again and film it, but it she couldn't do it again.  I am super proud of her!  The pediatrician wanted her to start first steps, because she isn't walking yet. But technically she is really about 10 months old, and most babies aren't walking then either.  I chatted with the lady, and we decided, come July and she isn't walking, we will try the program.  I am just not worried. She is sturdy and trying and moving.  She is making progress every day.  I think she is going to be just fine!  She has cut 3 more teeth! So she has 7 teeth, I think that 8th one is on it's way!

I love matching, matching is my favorite

That is a picture of my Mom, it is crazy to see similarities! Isn't it?!

Ellie likes watermelon as much as her siblings! She also loves to marinate herself in the juices! 

We can never agree on a movie

Ellie wants to taste everything, even puppies!

But summer is here!  The kids are a part of the local YMCA swim team for the summer, hopefully no tantrums for Addie, more fake nail incentives are probably in our future.  I hope we can get in a good routine!

The new house in coming along.  I have started another blog for that, don't want to bombard this one with boring house pictures.  But demo is pretty much over. Our house basically has no sheetrock on it, just a bare boned house.  Now we get to put it back together. You can just call us Chip and Jo! Ha, if only I was as talented as her!  Thomas is pretty darn close to Chip, maybe not quite as funny in Chip's goofy way!

I hope to keep the posts coming during the summer, but can't make huge promises. 24/7 with kiddos, it is hard to find the time!

Oh, And I forgot to mention my regatta!  Every year, for the past 4 or 5 years, we have done the Dragon Boat Regatta. It is a lot of fun!  We had a great team this year. We took first place in the Finance Cup, got a trophy for that.  And then we took 8th place overall, out of 56 teams, which to me is pretty impressive.  I do think we actually got 5th, but anything after 4th doesn't get a medal, so it kinda doesn't matter. Next year we are taking it! Ha! Go LSA!

Brandie and I were co-captains this year

I wore an arm sleeve, because I chafed the stew out of it at practice!

Happy 1st Birthday Ellie!

On May 4, 2017, Ellie turned one!  She started her day with a nice yummy bottle.  She then helped Mommy take her brother and sister to school. She then went to the gym and assisted her Mommy in teaching HiiT to some strong folks at the gym.  Then, her thoughtful Mommy took her to the doctor for her check up.  Ellie weighed 26 lbs 3 oz and is 31 inches tall.  She is in the 95th percentile for Height and Weight, and she is in the 75th percentile for the size of her head.  We decided not to do shots on her birthday, because that is just mean! The doctor wants to put her in a First Steps program, to challenge her more to walk.  I am not so worried, I think she will walk closer to her adjusted age.  But, First Steps couldn't hurt?! She is trying to pull up, and really close to crawling.  Ellie is going to do things her own way and in her own time. And that is okay by me! They did stick her finger at her appt to check her blood count.  Then she had a nice nap. We waited to open presents when Addie and Porter came home from school and when Daddy came home from work.  She enjoyed a very yummy and colorful cake!  She wasn't as excited about it as I thought she would be.  But she enjoyed squishing it with her fingers.  Porter and Addie just couldn't stop laughing!  Ellie got her new walker (early) and clothes, and toys, and books and money.

On May 5 she had her popsicle party.  So many wonderful friends came to wish her a happy birthday and enjoyed a popsicle! We even had some chips and salsa and guacamole in honor of Cinco de Mayo!  She also had a yummy coconut cake.

It still blows my mind that it has been a year! She has come so far! Our lives have totally changed for the better. We just closed on our new house and renovations have started! I feel a little crazy about starting a renovation, but it is going to be awesome. I am starting a separate blog for the renovations. Mixing it into this one would just be tricky and boring for many of you! haha! But, we got 6 months to close our construction loan, so it is on! Every Saturday is going to be renovations day! Yay.  Addie actually had a real great time hammering the wall and tearing it down! 

Ellie's invitation

Chewing on her card from Papa

Probably her favorite part of every day! the tub!  I can't wait for pool time!

Sporting her pig tail!

She loves books

Amazing!

Sonic Corn dog day, $0.50

Her cake

She got some cute boys from her Aunt

This side by side gives a better perspective of Miss Ellie's growth

Instagram pic

Birthday party cake....she looks unimpressed

Aunt Adi and Ellie

She was very unsure about the camera!

a little timid about her cake

Porter thought it was hilarious!

So did Addie!

She got into it!

"I think I've had enough"

Birthday Eve for Ellie

  One year ago today, at this time, 7:23 pm, I was crying.  I was crying for the loss of a precious soul, Austin.  He was a young man who went to church with me.  He was 17. His life was tragically taken in a car wreck.  At the time, I was serving as Relief Society president.  I got the call, close to after the tragedy took place, before his parents had heard the horrible news. The news that no parent ever wants to hear, that no parent would wish on their worse enemy.  By the time we reached their home, Austin's father was already informed of the news from a State Trooper.  I wasn't sure my heart could bear to see this kind of loss and sadness.  It made all my many dealings of loss and sorrow, seem pitifully small to this.  My sister in law, Adi, and I did the best we could to comfort him.  Austin's Mom wasn't home yet, she didn't know yet.  I dreaded her coming home.  I wanted her to stay away as long as she could, to live in the moment of normal, of regular life.  I didn't want to be here for this dagger in her heart, selfishly I wanted to disappear.  I tried to empathize, but again, nothing close in my life could compare to this, and selfishly again, I hope never will.  Being a mother myself, I can understand a mother's love.  Perhaps a father's love is the same, of that I can't honestly say first hand. But as a mother, who carried that little soul, and felt him grow in her tummy. Who woke up every hour on the hour, when he was a baby. To witness all his firsts. To kiss all his 'boo-boo's" better. To teach him small simple things. To teach him love. To cuddle on the couch. To worry the whole time he is sick.  To fear for him in this ever scary world, and what he would face. To listen to his hopes and dreams. To listen and cry with him when his heart was broken.  To the fights that mothers and sons often have. To the precious moments, that only mothers and sons have.  A mother's love is different than anything on earth.  Children physically were a part of you as they grew, and still are physically there when they are born.  Flesh of flesh, bone of bone. And then, in a moment, one horribly tragic moments... all those times, those mother and son times, are over.  I ached for her, and I know not nearly as bad as she was aching.  But in a very very small way, I could understand, possibly, how bad it might hurt, how deep it cut.  And that it doesn't get better, not the next day, not the next week, not the next month, and not even the next year. It couldn't possibly fully heal. Perhaps, you as mother get stronger.  I don't know.  I imagine it feeling like trying to live without a heart.  Wanting to live, but not.  But because she has other kids, she must live, they still need her.  May 3rd, was probably one of the most excruciating and painful things I have ever witnessed.  My heart and prayers go out to Austin's family, as today must be almost as horrible as the day.  There is a storm outside tonight, I feel that is fitting.
  But just as the Lord seems to give people trials that seem too much to bear.  He also gives us miracles. A year ago, I was reaming from the sting of this horribly sad tragedy, that I just couldn't understand.  Why?  Why do these things happen? Perhaps he was needed for more important things on the other side. But it surely left a gaping hole on this side. A year ago, it was hard to sleep. It was hard to understand.
The next day, May 4th, little did I know, the Lord would throw me a very interesting curve ball.  I had been in contact with a birthmother.  I was unsure if it would really happen. But she was pregnant, with a baby girl, who was due in July.  It was 2 days earlier that the birthmother reached out and contacted me directly through an email.  She had read about us on our blog.  She told me her story.  An amazing story, and one day, if she allows, maybe it will be shared! That, is up to her.  But we communicated. It felt like it could happen.  She had even invited us to the next ultrasound, which would take place on May 12.  This felt huge, like maybe it would really happen.  We had a few other adoption situations come up that were extremely complicated and some full on weird.  This one felt different, it felt possible.  And whenever I would think about it, I felt peace.
May 4th I woke up, hoping that May 3rd was a terrible nightmare.... it was, but a true and living nightmare.  My heart was still broken for them.  There was much to be done.  Sadly a funeral had to be planned. And as Relief Society president, I was in charge of planning a luncheon for after the funeral.  I was busy arranging meals and contacting sisters in the ward.  The day, was just like any other day, but with a huge sad dark cloud feeling in the air.  Kids were in school, kids came home. I was busy cleaning and helping with homework, when I got a phone call.  It was a familiar number. It was the contact to the birthmother. The birthmother ( I think, again, this was all a blur as to what happened) had fallen? And that caused placental abruption.  She was rushed to the hospital, because I think her water broke.  Again, that day, and the previous day had wiped me out, some of these details were a blur to me.  But in my mind, it couldn't be! How early was she?  It's too early!!! It's too early!! Can babies survive this early?!  Then my mind kept wandering.... is this some sick joke?  or was this whole thing a hoax???  Why would someone do that??  The contact told me she was going back for a c-section right then and would call me back when the baby was born!!!??  What?!
I called my sister-in-law, bawling.  She was super worried, after what had happened the day before, her mind raced as to what could possibly have me freaking out this bad?!!  I explained what was going on.  What do I do? Do we go?  What in the world?!  I called Thomas, I needed Thomas. He needed to tell me what to do.  Then I got another call from the contact.  "You're a Mom, it's a precious little girl, so tiny" 5:18pm, little Ellie decided to slip into this world 11 weeks early.
Thomas came home, Adrianne came over, I was getting texts and phone calls from every family member I had.  What do we do?  Thomas said, "We go"  "we go and see".  What do we tell Porter and Addie, because up to this point, they didn't know anything about her.  Just because I didn't want them to feel the disappointment if it went bad.  So, we brought them inside, I am sure they were a little worried why their mom had been such a basket case these past 2 days.  We told them that we had found our baby, that she was born today, but she was very early.  They looked at us, with confusion, and like they didn't believe us.  We do joke a lot at home, but they tried to see if we were tricking by studying our faces.  And when we didn't crack, they knew it was true. "So, you are going to get her today?!"  We explained that she would probably be in the hospital for a while, but yes, we were going to see her.  Out of the mouth of babes, Addie said "Mom, our prayers came true, they came true!"  Yes, our long awaited prayers had finally been answered!  Maybe not in the way we had envisioned, but the Lord answered our prayers.
  It was a long drive up to Northern Mississippi.  I called my Mom and my Dad, asking them what to do? What do I do?  I suddenly felt so unsure, about everything.  They cried with me, they both encouraged me in the only way a parent could.  If they could be there with me, I know they would be in a heart beat.
When we got to the hospital, I was so worried that it would be a hoax. That we would get up there and say the baby had died, or some weird story.... that was my mind playing tricks on me.  Because deep down I had always known it was real.  The email exchange with the birthmother, couldn't be fake.  Feelings of peace from the Spirit, couldn't be fake.  This was real.  We got to the correct floor and met by the contact.  We met the birthmother, bless her heart was just getting out of a c-section and had to not feel herself. And then they whisked us back to see the baby, to meet our daughter.
We scrubbed up.  It felt surreal.
I had no idea what she would look like, what a baby that small would look like. My sister in law warned me, it can be frightening. That their skin can look very translucent, and you can see their veins, and they might look a little strange. She also warned, it would be a long road ahead of us, out of pure love and concern.  I heard the beeping of a monitor.  I crept closer to a small bassinet, I wasn't expecting her to be in the open, just under a warming light.  I imagined an incubator or something.
There I beheld this small tiny human. I describe it as shock and awwww. That first glance was shock, I was overwhelmed and frightened in an instant, and then the next instant was awwwww. Awwww, like oh my goodness this tiny little angel from heaven.  This tiny little perfect human.  My daughter. As if I had delivered her myself. As if she were flesh of my flesh, bone of my bone.  My heart melted. She was instantly a part of me, mind, body and soul.  In an instant!  She held my finger.  Her tiny finger grasped around the tip of my finger. Her whole hand could only fit around the tip of my finger. Her thigh was as big around as my finger.  Tears welled up in my eyes.  Recognition overwhelmed me. And when my eyes met Thomas's, I knew he felt the exact same way.  Again, in my uncertain state, I asked him "What do we do?"  And he said, as only Thomas could, "Isn't it obvious?!"  Yes. It was.  This was our little girl, we had been waiting for her, and now we were reunited in a very real sense.  We didn't know what lie before us for the next 90 days, for the next year.... none of that mattered.  We knew at that moment, she was ours, every bit as much as Porter and Addie were ours.  We didn't know she would be in the hospital for 90 days.  We didn't know adoption without an agency or attorney could be tricky and hard, but we would figure it out.  We didn't know the long hard road ahead.  But what we did know?  This wasn't a random chance.  This was an intricately detailed blessing that our Father in Heaven had been carefully preparing us and the birthmother for.  There was a grand design in all of the chaos.  "Starting here and starting now, I can feel the heart of how everything changes....."

Announcing Ellie

I am so thankful, in spite of all my imperfections and short comings, that my Heavenly Father saw fit to bless us with Ellie.  I am eternally indebted and eternally grateful. " What did I do to deserve you..... Thank God for you."

On this eve of my littlest's miracle's birth, I will revel in all the details, all the love and all the blessings that came along with it.

I will say my evening prayers, grateful for the ultimate blessing of eternal families.  The promise of being together forever, through the sealing power of the temple.  The beautiful hope and peace that brings to families who have experienced loss, that they will see those loved ones again.  I am grateful for a loving Father in Heaven who understands loss and sacrifice, and who comforts us in times of sorrow, weeps for us.... yet also triumphs with us and cheers for us.  As we open our hearts to Him and trust in the redeeming power of His son, our Lord and Redeemer, we always have hope.

Our little Ellie, is proof of his matchless love!  Happy Birthday tomorrow Goose! The first of many!

Another post to follow, after all the festivities!   But until then, here are a few pictures to catch up with what we have been up to! 

We said goodbye to Adaiza, she moved away from us :(

Thomas and Porter at MS State vs Ole Miss baseball game

Trying double pig tails! ha!

Her early birthday present! Trying to get her wanting to walk

Milk Drunk at the park! 

James was sad to move, but Ellie told him they were betrothed. He wasn't so sad after that! Ha!